With the end of the year approaching, and everyone and their mom posting up “best of the year” list I decided just to compose a list of things that kicked ass in 09, and things that got ass kicked in 09.

Things That Kicked Ass
1. Dying Kicked ass all over the place in 09 - Lets be honest this was the year to die, and I’m surprised that more people didn’t try to die in 09 because it was the thing to do. Really, dying was such a thing in you really had to bring something to the table to be a noteworthy death. for example, poor old Farrah Fawcett never got to shine because MJ’s death came in and kicked all kinds of ass.

Deaths that meant something to me in 09

2. Boobs (but don’t they kick ass every year?)
Top Boobs of 09 (in no particular order)
Eva Amurri – This gal made me love Californication even more than I already did, and holy shit she is Susan Sarandon’s daughter.

Jessica Biel – boy did the heavens open up the day she decided to show them thangs

JB

Marge Simpson – Man Marge did big things for cartoon boobs in 09

3. Zombies – Need I say more?

The Dallas Cowboys – Say what you want but they have a winning record and I am a Homer so FUCK YOU.

4. Twitter – 140 characters of kick ass man this social network took hold like gangbusters in 09. From local and national beef to people getting to show off the comedic prowess, Twitter was a place to make a name for yourself in 09

my fav tweeters were

1. @Cobra Commander – just all around funny shiz
2. @Shitmydadsays – all though my real life dad says funnier shit this account kept me laughing
3. @SportsMinute - if you follow sports you will love this dude
4. @jupiters_crunch - Marty B became my fav Dallas Cowboy through Twitter. Follow him and see why
5. @djnvs – who doesn’t wanna see a grown man shaking his head every 10 min?

5. Music – Music really kicked ass this year in many genres here are some notables
Mayer Hawthorne, Wale, Cool Aide, Bun B, Laidback Luke, David Guetta, LMFAO, Jump Smokers,

6. Always Sunny in Phildelphia - Best show on TV

7. Olivia Munn – this girl was everywhere this year, and I am not mad; neither are all the nerds that love her.
Things that Got Ass-Kicked in 09

1. Republicans - FALL THE FUCK BACK!!!

2. Tiger Woods – Dang can’t a dude get some strange without every single chick he crept with coming out of the wood work to say some shit. What ever happened to the saying “stop snitching” did it get its ass kicked in 08?

3. Music – as much ass as music kicked in 09 it just as well got its ass kicked we have many to blame. here are a few we can poke sticks at. Lil Wayne, Steve Aoki, Souljah Boy, and Gucci Mane

4. DJs - yea there are a lot of DJs out there making great money right now but look at this

5. New Jersey – See picture above

There is a lot I probably over looked so please let me know in the comments what you think kicked ass or got ass kicked in 09.

WAUKESHA, Wis. – A Wisconsin teenager who blackmailed dozens of fellow high school students into sex acts by using photos and videos obtained in a Facebook scam faces up to 50 years in prison after pleading no contest to two felonies Tuesday.

Anthony R. Stancl, 19, of New Berlin, had faced 12 charges that carried a maximum penalty of nearly 300 years.

He pleaded no contest to repeated sexual assault of the same child and third-degree sexual assault. In exchange, prosecutors dismissed charges that included second-degree sexual assault, child enticement and possession of child pornography.
Stancl was accused of posing as a girl online and persuading more than 30 classmates to send him naked pictures of themselves, then using the images to blackmail them for sex. Authorities found more than 30 folders on Stancl’s computer containing about 300 nude images of other male students at New Berlin Eisenhower High School in southeastern Wisconsin.

Stancl didn’t speak in court beyond answering the judge’s questions with, “Yes, sir,” and “No, sir,” and saying he had been taking medication for depression for “a few years.”

Victims ‘relieved’
Waukesha County district attorney Brad Schimel said he would recommend a “substantial” prison sentence and that he was satisfied with the plea agreement because Stancl still faces up to 50 years.

The deal also spares victims from having to appear in court, a key factor in his negotiations, he said.

“I’ve never had a case where the victims and their families were more apprehensive about testifying,” Schimel said. “From the victims’ perspective, they’re relieved we’re doing this.”

Defense attorney Craig Kuhary declined to comment to reporters as he left the courtroom. A status hearing where a sentencing date could be set was scheduled for Jan. 7
The investigation began after a 16-year-old boy told authorities he was being blackmailed into acts of oral and anal sex with Stancl. The boy, then 15, had exchanged explicit pictures of himself online with “Kayla,” who later threatened to spread his picture throughout the school unless he agreed to the acts with Stancl.

Stancl photographed those encounters, giving him fodder for further blackmail, detectives said.

The boy agreed to at least four sex acts, but when “Kayla” asked him for a nude photo of his brother he went to his parents and the police.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million. Stop sending Meat Pics!!!!!!!!

Ok so we all know that getting very old has to suck, right? Well I think I have Figured out a plan of action to finish out my days if I make it to 70.

On the day of my 70th birthday I am going to walk into a busy place and in broad daylight I will shoot someone’s face off. Hopefully by then there will be some sort of Splaser gun that will most likely just erase someones face.

Yea it seems like I am a raving fucking lunatic, but please hear me out.

I was watching Shawshank Redemption the other day, and I thought to myself, “yo Self (thats what I call myself) It must suck to have to be sentenced to life at the age of 19, but I guess if you get that sentence at the age of 70 it can’t be too bad. Ya know? because you really don’t have much life left.I mean seriously at 70 you probably only have 2-4 years left, and if you have kids they have their own lives and they most likely never visit; so why not take all the aggression you’ve pent up for 70 years and splaser someone’s fucking face off.

Also, when I have my day in court I will most definitely plead innocent even though I will make sure that everyone was caught on tape.  My whole defense will be, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

When I am sentenced I will probably go on some tirade about the Cowboys letting T. Owens go in 09.

Once in Jail I’ll just finish my days as that old crazy dude in Jail who splasered someone’s face off.

This is what you get when you go to a Chinese spot at 3am in North Philly. Wish I would have recorded more.

For this Mix I went on a 80s funkish vibe. I start with Nasty Girl by Vanity and just roll on from there.

Enjoy and lemme know what ya think. Once again I need 8 comment asking to post a track list to do so.

DOWNLOAD

Oh yea here is the track list. I didn’t get 8 people asking for it, but I gave you all bonus points because LK asked for it.

TRACK LIST
Vanity 6 – Nasty Girl
Cover Girls – Show Me
Janet Jackson – What have you done for me Lately
Monet – My Heart gets all the breaks
Zapp – Do Wa Ditty
Patrice Rushin – Forget me nots
Lisa Lisa – Head to Toe
Lakeside – Fantastic Voyage
Magic Lady – Shake it down
MJ – Shake your body
Cherrelle – Saturday Love
The Whispers – And the beat goes on
Shannon – Let the music play
Sweet Sensation – I’m hooked on you
Cameo – Word up
Starpoint – Object of my desire
Atlantic Starr – Midas touch
Final Edition – I can do it (anyway you want)
Rick James – Cold Blooded
MJ – Sunset Driver
Change – The glow of Love
Freeze – I.O.U.
SOS Band – Take your time do it right
Cherrelle – I didn’t mean to turn you on
Confunkshun – Too Tight
Expose – Point of no return
Pretty Poison – Catch me I’m falling
The Jets – Crush on you
D Train – You’re the one for me
Teena Marie – Lover Girl
Earth Wind & Fire – Let’s groove
Gap Band – You dropped a bomb on me
Chicago – Street Player